He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
