the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
