So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
