she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
