Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
