He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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