I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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