is your mom at the bar?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
