Pappa wants mamma naked
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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