Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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