He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
