you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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