Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
