ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
