i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Randomize
