I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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