Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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