the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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