Your dad touched me again.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
