I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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