first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
