One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Two words: blizzard sex
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize