I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
