What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
