shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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