Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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