): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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