she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
