Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
