I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize