I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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