im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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