Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
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