At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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