She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
