her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
