i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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