I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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