Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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