I think I just saw someone hide a body.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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