You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
