you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
