I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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