my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
