She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Acid is not a monday night drug
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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