i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
