The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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