I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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