Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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