I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
