my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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