I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
