I need help removing her.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
