Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
