we have pet lesbian snakes
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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