He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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