Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
