I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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