It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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