This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize