conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
