Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
